So, I'll be the first to admit that I have somehow jumped off the bandwagon.
When I stepped on the scale a couple months ago and realized I was the heaviest I'd ever been and could not control my eating for the life of me, I sought help. I spoke to an addictions counselor, because YES, food is an addiction. I went to a psychiatrist, because YES, addiction is a mental health issue. I was diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder, and YES, it is a very real thing.
Previously, I had tried anything and everything you could think of to try and maintain my weight and control my eating habits. I would try any diet and knuckle down on exercising. I'd do excellent for about 2 weeks until I could no longer control my binge eating appetite and I would shove tons of food down in an effort to get my brain to shut up for 10 minutes.
With Binge Eating Disorder (or BED as I like to refer to it), I feel like there's a constant loop playing in my head telling me, "you're hungry, you need to eat. you're hungry, you need to eat. you're hungry, you need to eat." I know I'm not hungry. And as I would gorge on french fries and mac and cheese I knew that wasn't what I needed. I remember so many times talking to myself AS I WAS EATING saying "I'm not hungry. Why am I eating this?" So I talked to someone else. A therapist who has dealt with the same issues I had. I made meal plans and ways to keep my mind off of the constant nudging of that voice saying I was hungry. I did well. I lost 27 lbs. Then life happened.
I got too busy to meet for one of my appointments. That week I binged multiple times and felt so pathetic that I didn't want to go back and face my therapist who I had come to respect. I'm sure it shouldn't have mattered in the grand scheme of things, hey, it happens right?
I felt like a total failure. One week of binge eating turned into two. And then three. And then a month went by. And now here I am, roughly 3 months later, heavier than when stepped on the scale those couple months ago and realized I needed to change. So now what do I do? I'm going to start again.
I'm not going to cut things out, because it doesn't work for me. If I tell myself I can't eat french fries, then you can bet money that I will binge on 2 large fries by the end of the week. But if I take small steps, eventually I can make it work. I don't want to be stick thin. Hell, I don't even want to be THIN. I want to be me, but without the 70 lbs extra that make it hard for me to run around and play soccer with my boys. I still want my big bum. I want all my assets. I want to jiggle in the right places, amiright ladies?!
1. Eat less, move more.
Seems easy enough, right? Sure. I already like hiking. My kids like being outside. I have a double stroller that adds extra weight for me to get a workout in if I walk around the block a couple times. I also like a lot of healthy foods. I'm obsessed with grilled chicken. I like turkey and some seafood. I'm not afraid of fruits and veggies, either. And to kick off my "lifestyle change" as I'm so cutely going to refer to it…. I'm going to try a squat challenge!
2. Start small.
Diets often don't work because people tend to stop everything they've been doing for years all at once. Nobody can do that. It isn't realistic. I'm no hero, ladies. I put my bra on one boob at a time just like everybody else. I like water, so now I'm going to try to drink only water, maybe some flavored water here and there for decoration. I like walking. Let's see if I can walk 5,000 steps a day. If that's too easy, let's bump it up. Small steps.
Anybody else got some awesome tips for a girl, trying to get back on the bandwagon? I'm all ears!! Let me know what you do!
All the love,